The half marathon

"Where there's a will there's a way...and big big blisters!"

Let me preface this by stating that as many of you may or may not know, I am an athlete.  I sprint, olympic weightlift, and I used to be a competitive martial artist.  I do not, however, distance run.  I am not built for it, I don't enjoy it and I never do it!  That being said...

The night before the half marathon in Coronado, California, I sat with my wife at a restaurant/bar called "Nicky Rottens" in San Diego's historic gaslamp district and watched Brock Lesnar pound on Randy Couture in a UFC pay per view event.  After seeing Lesnar repeatedly drop his fists onto a prone Couture's face for 10 straight seconds I posed a question to my wife.  I said "How bad do you think that hurts?".   Little did I know that I would know that pain, only mine lasted for about 2 and a half hours :-)

I am not a runner.  I do very short duration cardio and lots of lifting.  At Stevenson Fitness we wanted to create more opportunities for people to work together.  So a client approached me about creating a running team to train and run a half marathon.  I thought it was a great idea (it turned out that it was in fact a great idea).  I helped her put the team together not realizing that now they expected me to run.  What have I done?  I now have to run 13.1 miles.  I get tired driving that far.  Am I really going to be able to do this.

Race time.  I lined up at very back of the crowd.  I had 2 goals: 1 was to finish and 2 was to never stop running.  I can't lie, i had my doubts.  As I looked at the people in front of me I saw a lady with balloons that said 2:30.  That is where I set my goal.  I would try and stay behind them.  That is a good pace for me.  The buzzer went off and the race was on.

The race was to benefit handicapped athletes.  It was very inspiring to see, other than the fact that most of the handicapped people were kicking my butt!  I did manage to pass a group of blind runners.  The bummer was they couldn't see me ;-) But in all seriousness, it really felt great to see so many people coming together for a good cause.

The first 4 miles were pretty uneventful.  I actually surprised myself and felt pretty darn good.   It did, however, create a false sense of what was to come. I think I expected to feel this way the whole time.  This would not be the case.  I started to realize that at mile 5.

There is in fact a "runner's high" and I hit it! I felt great!  For about a minute, then it was over and I hit something that was the onset of what must be called "runner's low".  

Uh oh.  Why are the inside of both of my feet burning?  That would turn out to be the 2 golf ball sized blood blisters that were forming on my feet.  They were the kind of blisters that elicit a high pitched "yikes!" from people I showed them to.  Oh well, i'm tough, sort of, I can take it, i mean it's only another...uh...8.1 freakin' miles! Checklist: 2 burning feet.

So now i'm trying to run on the outside of my feet to avoid putting pressure on the blisters that will definitely leave scars, which makes the outside of my knees hurt.  I am definitely breaking down and I still have a long way to go.  So I look at the guy rumbling along in front of me.  He is older, maybe mid-sixties, and not the leanest guy around.  I read the back of his homemade tank top.  It read "Hell, i'm slow!  But i'm doing it!"  As I nod my head as if I was saying "good job old man", I realized something.  I'm freakin' behind him!!!  So I pick up my pace because of a stupid condition I have (like most men) known as "ego", which does nothing but exacerbate my burning feet and recently added burning knees.  Checklist: 2 burning feet and 2 burning knees.

There are always little things that newbies don't know.  At mile 6 my left shoulder and back started hurting.  Apparently, even though it is small, when you carry an ipod in the same hand it takes its toll on your body after 6 miles.  I switched hands but the damage had been done.  So let's look at the checklist: 2 burning feet, 2 burning knees, 1 burning left shoulder and neck...sweet!

So its 95 degrees with no breeze.  I was getting a little warm to say the least.  The nice thing is there are water stations every mile and a half or so.  So I had been pretty smart and taken 2 cups at every station, 1 to drink and 1 to dump on my head to cool down.  This plan was going really well until the surprise gatorade station.  Why would I assume that all of a sudden there was something other than water in those cups.  You would think Gatorade would at least have a banner or poster, but nooooooooooooo!  So 7 miles in I chug a cup of water and dump a cup of gatorade on my head.  Not sure if you know this but Gatorade is really really sticky.  My sun glasses are now stuck to my face and it has dripped into my eyes.  Checklist: 2 burning feet, 2 burning knees, 1 burning left shoulder and neck, and 2 burning eyes. 

Goo?  I ate something called goo!  Everyone told me that i would need to re-fuel half way through so make sure I get some "goo" at mile 8.  First of all I should have known by the name "goo" that it would not taste good and probably not have a good consistency.  And a note to all supplement manufactures, taking a gross product and giving it the flavor of a good food (in my case apple pie flavored) does NOT NOT NOT make it taste good at all!  And apparently goo gives you gas.  Checklist:2 burning feet, 2 burning knees, 1 burning left shoulder and neck, 2 burning eyes and 1 upset stomach.

My wife is really cool.  She is 7 months pregnant and she is an avid runner.  She's done many races including the LA marathon.  She, in support of me, offered to meet me at mile 10 and run the rest with me.  This was absolutely awesome!  Truth is I really needed motivation and encouragement at that point and she delivered.  But here is the kicker.  She is 7 months pregnant but no one knows that she jumped in at mile 10.  People just assumed that she ran the whole thing.  She heard shouts of "you go girl","so awesome" and woos and cheers in general.  And I looked like an unselfish hero who slowed down to help and support her.  The ironic truth is that I was in fact slowing her down and couldn't finish without her keeping me from quitting.  Thanks honey :-)

Mile 12- The last mile.  I think the body knows when it is almost done and taunts you by shutting down right before it hits the end of something.  For example, when you have to go to the bathroom really bad, the closer you get to the toilet the worse the pressure on your bowels gets.  That is the way mile 12 was for me.  It seemed much longer than all the other individual miles.  When I made the last turn, and could see the actual finish line, it looked like I would never get there.  For a second I thought it was a joke like the carrot held in front of the horse that he could never actually catch.  But I ran and it got closer, and closer and closer.  I looked back at my wife and then took off sprinting. (not because I am an awesome runner, but I sure as hell was going to get this done as soon as possible).  I crossed the finish line.  I had done it.  I finished and had done so without stopping.  Final Checklist: 2 burning feet, 2 burning knees, 1 burning left shoulder and neck, 2 burning eyes, 1 upset stomach, and 1 REALLY BIG SENSE OF PRIDE!

The truth of the matter is this.  Where there is a will there is a way.  If you set your mind to something you can do it, no matter what it is.  As long as you don't give up when you hit adversity and difficulty, and blisters for that matter, you can achieve whatever you want.  It is important to remember that the only thing that can stop you is you.  That being said, despite the pain and soreness ( that is still lingering), it was a great experience that included commradery, teamwork, persistence, determination, inspiration and a ton of other awesome values.  I was really glad I did and wouldn't trade this experience for anything at all...blisters and all :-)

P.S. I am officially retired from distance running :-)